| Copyright © 2007 Ed Bagley | | | | She loved me when I was not lovable, despite my |
| A lot of us remember our mother, and for good | | | | faults and shortcomings. She stood by me and |
| reason. | | | | fought for me when others would not. She |
| Should someone pose the same question to me that | | | | encouraged me, financed me, and believed in me. |
| I have asked of you, I would never hesitate to talk | | | | My mother was a study in self-improvement, she |
| about the most important person in my life, my | | | | actually worked her entire life trying to become a |
| mother. | | | | better person, and spend the last 30 years of her |
| I had two fathers, one that left when I was only a | | | | life, in my judgment, becoming close to an angel here |
| month old (he was not sure I was his son, and so he | | | | on earth. |
| divorced my mom), and one that arrived when I was | | | | In the end, she was not self-centered or |
| 5 (he had a 40-word vocabulary, 20 of which were | | | | self-absorbed but naturally served others with love |
| cuss words). I did not realize until much later that he | | | | and compassion. She became an incredible woman, |
| did not know several foreign languages (he actually | | | | and many were saddened on the day of her passing. |
| did know cuss words in at least three languages). | | | | She was not a movie star, she was not famous, and |
| It might be sad to admit that I have no idea who my | | | | she was not rich. She simply had the most important |
| father is, but in the greater scheme of things, it does | | | | job in the world, she was a mother. |
| not really matter all that much because he was never | | | | She was the only one who could comfort her son in |
| a part of my life. | | | | his most distraught times, like when his first love in |
| My mother was. | | | | high school found another, and he thought his heart |
| Both of my fathers provided examples of what not | | | | would never again be whole. |
| to do when being a husband, father and role model. | | | | There must have been 40 flower arrangements at |
| Given the circumstances, one becomes what one | | | | her funeral, and one was a beautiful (although |
| sees, or one makes it a point to never become what | | | | artificial) purple and yellow arrangement. I brought |
| one sees. I chose to ignore the fathers who never | | | | that arrangement back from Michigan with me 12 |
| were. | | | | years ago, and to this day, it sits beside me at my |
| My mother apparently had a somewhat rocky start | | | | office in Tacoma (WA). |
| in life, and was probably not the best mother a child | | | | My mother is never more than an arm's reach away |
| could have had, but she became a fighter, for herself | | | | from me. |
| and her children. | | | | Shortly after her funeral I was passing through a |
| She suffered through two of her daughters | | | | religious articles store that a Catholic order of nuns |
| preceding her in death, and often said "It is a great | | | | was closing down. There I found a metal of Saint |
| life if you can stand to live it." | | | | Mildred, an obscure Catholic saint from the middle |
| I was raised essentially by my maternal grandparents | | | | ages. |
| for the first 5 years of my life, and everything good | | | | My mother was not Catholic, but her name was |
| that I first learned was from them. | | | | Mildred, and that metal has been around my neck, |
| After living more than six decades I can tell you | | | | day and night, for 12 years, in honor of her. |
| without qualification that my grandparents were the | | | | As a father and grandfather, my message to all |
| salt of the earth. They started out as farmers in | | | | mothers is to love your spouse, love your children, |
| Illinois before the turn of the century and moved | | | | love your family, and however mundane you feel |
| north to Michigan when farming became impossible. | | | | your existence may sometimes be, remember that |
| They were Midwest stock, always recognized and | | | | your most important mission in life is to be a mother. |
| honored God, and whatever homespun wisdom I | | | | There will be no greater calling, and there will be no |
| have came from watching them very carefully, and | | | | greater reward. |
| always loving them as they loved me. | | | | Your legacy is established, and your love will not be |
| That said, my mother was the biggest backer that I | | | | forgotten by those you love and serve. They will |
| ever had. | | | | love you forever as you have loved them. |