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I Was Rooting For

Although I'm not a sports writer by harmless idea, I suppose, unless you get
trade, it would have been considered bad pulled over by a state trooper who roots
journalism if I had come out on the side for the other side."Mr. Jones, I'm only
of Alabama or Auburn before last going to issue you a warning this time,
Saturday's big game. But now that the but... uh oh, says here on the back of
Iron Bowl is over and the season is your license that you're an Alabama fan.
almost at its end, I can finally reveal That changes things a bit. It's a good
which team I claim as my own.I was thing you marked this organ donor box.
rooting for . Fact is, I've been a huge You're about to make some kidney patient
fan for thirty years! I want all my kids very happy. Step out of the car
to graduate from !Okay, I know what please..."Football fanaticism has been
you're thinking: "Hey, Tim, why are you known to break up families, cause
using that annoying instead of the domestic violence, and drive otherwise
actual team name? Why are you so hesitant sane people to do really stupid things.
to reveal the name of the team you were Take my brother, Shemp, for example.
rooting for? Huh? Why?"I'll tell you why. Shemp is a rabid fan who somehow managed
It's because the game is not really over. to hitch his marital wagon to a lovely
Alabama and Auburn fans will be replaying woman who is an equally rabid fan. Talk
every second of that Iron Bowl until the about your mixed marriages. I don't think
next one comes around. And the Monday that "Men Are From Mars" guy put this
morning quarterbacking began even before chapter in his book.Shemp and his wife
the game was over. Within five minutes of get along as well as any married couple,
the end of the game here's a small until their teams play each other. Then
sampling of the email that was coming things turn ugly, Veeeery ugly. Shemp
into Alabama Live's feedback line.Let's takes over the house like a Branch
begin with this one from a member of the Davidian at a real estate auction,
fairer sex: refusing to let his wife in until after
"Please print the real reason 'Bama lost the game, which is just fine with her.
to Auburn: DUMB coaching. DuBose should She would rather watch the game at her
have been fired on the spot, along with sister's house because her husband is,
whoever called the dumbest play in the and I'm quoting her, "an obnoxious
history of Alabama football. The players fan!"Hmm, I didn't know there was any
played great, and should have won. The other kind.It is worth noting that we
coach lost the game." Alabamians are not the only ones who go
And this from an Alabama fan living in nuts over college football. Take last
Florida: weekend's Michigan/Ohio State game, for
"Dumb Bose" has got to go! That pass example, which Michigan won 20-14. 120
play was, without a doubt, the stupidest people were ejected from the stadium for
call I have ever seen in 30 years of being drunk. Seven fans were ejected for
football. There is only one to blame. disorderly conduct, six for urinating in
"DUBOSE!" GOT TO GO!!! FIRED TODAY." public, four for being on the field
And this little ditty that says what the during the game and two for possession of
majority of Alabama fans were probably marijuana. One fan was also ejected for
thinking:"The Alabama offensive coach assault. Someone must have drank his beer
should be taken out behind the Auburn while he was down urinating on the goal
stadium and shot. That 3rd down pass play post.When this year's Iron Bowl came to a
was the dumbest play in the history of close, the Auburn Tigers came out the
Alabama football. Get some new coaches, I winners by one very slim point. I
can give you some names."The great thing discovered something then, watching the
about football mania is that it is the Auburn players celebrate and the Alabama
most honest kind of fanaticism, breaking players cry. I discovered that it really
all barriers of race, gender and age. didn't matter which team I had been
Even the teachers in our elementary and rooting for because in the end, I was
middle schools fan the fire. Chelsea, my happy and sad, elated and disappointed,
9 year old, came home Friday with tears amazed and upset.Both teams played their
in her eyes because her teacher, a woman hearts out and I think we should, as a
she respects and loves, wore a jersey to state, be proud of Alabama and Auburn.
school. My little girlwas It's just a damn shame that in football
devastated."Mrs. Smith is for , daddy. I somebody has to lose.And still you ask,
can't believe it. I'm never going back to which team was I rooting for?None of your
school again! Never!" Great, a 9 year old business.From "Small Business Q&A" With
dropout. Thank you for ruining my baby's Tim Knox
life.Sometimes I wonder if we take our Tim Knox is a nationally-known
football too seriously in Alabama. It entrepreneur, author, speaker, and radio
wouldn't surprise me if legislators in show host.
Montgomery passed a law requiring Tim has helped hundreds of entrepreneurs
everyone to put their team preferences on realize their business dreams.
the back of their driver's license. A




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