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I Was Rooting For

Although I'm not a sports writer by trade, itrequiring everyone to put their team
would have been considered bad journalism ifpreferences on the back of their driver's
I had come out on the side of Alabama orlicense. A harmless idea, I suppose, unless
Auburn before last Saturday's big game. Butyou get pulled over by a state trooper who
now that the Iron Bowl is over and the seasonroots for the other side."Mr. Jones, I'm only
is almost at its end, I can finally revealgoing to issue you a warning this time,
which team I claim as my own.I was rootingbut... uh oh, says here on the back of your
for . Fact is, I've been a huge fan forlicense that you're an Alabama fan. That
thirty years! I want all my kids to graduatechanges things a bit. It's a good thing you
from !Okay, I know what you're thinking:marked this organ donor box. You're about to
"Hey, Tim, why are you using that annoyingmake some kidney patient very happy. Step out
instead of the actual team name? Why are youof the car please..."Football fanaticism has
so hesitant to reveal the name of the teambeen known to break up families, cause
you were rooting for? Huh? Why?"I'll tell youdomestic violence, and drive otherwise sane
why. It's because the game is not reallypeople to do really stupid things. Take my
over. Alabama and Auburn fans will bebrother, Shemp, for example. Shemp is a rabid
replaying every second of that Iron Bowlfan who somehow managed to hitch his marital
until the next one comes around. And thewagon to a lovely woman who is an equally
Monday morning quarterbacking began evenrabid fan. Talk about your mixed marriages.
before the game was over. Within five minutesI don't think that "Men Are From Mars" guy
of the end of the game here's a smallput this chapter in his book.Shemp and his
sampling of the email that was coming intowife get along as well as any married couple,
Alabama Live's feedback line.Let's begin withuntil their teams play each other. Then
this  one  from  a  member of the fairer sex:things turn ugly, Veeeery ugly. Shemp takes
over the house like a Branch Davidian at a
"Please print the real reason 'Bama lost toreal estate auction, refusing to let his wife
Auburn: DUMB coaching. DuBose should havein until after the game, which is just fine
been fired on the spot, along with whoeverwith her. She would rather watch the game at
called the dumbest play in the history ofher sister's house because her husband is,
Alabama football. The players played great,and I'm quoting her, "an obnoxious fan!"Hmm,
and should have won. The coach lost theI didn't know there was any other kind.It is
game."worth noting that we Alabamians are not the
only ones who go nuts over college football.
And this from an Alabama fan living inTake last weekend's Michigan/Ohio State game,
Florida:for example, which Michigan won 20-14. 120
people were ejected from the stadium for
"Dumb Bose" has got to go! That pass playbeing drunk. Seven fans were ejected for
was, without a doubt, the stupidest call Idisorderly conduct, six for urinating in
have ever seen in 30 years of football. Therepublic, four for being on the field during
is only one to blame. "DUBOSE!" GOT TO GO!!!the game and two for possession of marijuana.
FIRED  TODAY."One fan was also ejected for assault. Someone
must have drank his beer while he was down
And this little ditty that says what theurinating on the goal post.When this year's
majority of Alabama fans were probablyIron Bowl came to a close, the Auburn Tigers
thinking:"The Alabama offensive coach shouldcame out the winners by one very slim point.
be taken out behind the Auburn stadium andI discovered something then, watching the
shot. That 3rd down pass play was the dumbestAuburn players celebrate and the Alabama
play in the history of Alabama football. Getplayers cry. I discovered that it really
some new coaches, I can give you somedidn't matter which team I had been rooting
names."The great thing about football maniafor because in the end, I was happy and sad,
is that it is the most honest kind ofelated and disappointed, amazed and
fanaticism, breaking all barriers of race,upset.Both teams played their hearts out and
gender and age. Even the teachers in ourI think we should, as a state, be proud of
elementary and middle schools fan the fire.Alabama and Auburn. It's just a damn shame
Chelsea, my 9 year old, came home Friday withthat in football somebody has to lose.And
tears in her eyes because her teacher, astill you ask, which team was I rooting
woman she respects and loves, wore a jerseyfor?None of your business.From "Small
to school. My little girlwas devastated."Mrs.Business  Q&A"  With  Tim  Knox
Smith is for , daddy. I can't believe it. I'm
never going back to school again! Never!"Tim Knox is a nationally-known entrepreneur,
Great, a 9 year old dropout. Thank you forauthor,  speaker,  and  radio  show  host.
ruining my baby's life.Sometimes I wonder if
we take our football too seriously inTim has helped hundreds of entrepreneurs
Alabama. It wouldn't surprise me ifrealize their business dreams.
legislators in Montgomery passed a law



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